Senior couple gleefully riding on a moped together.

Debunking Myths About Dating & Sex for Seniors

ByLaura Jaramillo

Introduction 

Love is timeless, but the dating game has evolved. Contrary to popular belief, seniors lead active and fulfilling lives in the world of dating and sexuality. A study found that 73% of men and 41% of women aged 57-64 reported being sexually active1.  

However, there can be unique challenges that seniors have when it comes to dating. This guide aims to shed light on these challenges and provide helpful tips for seniors navigating the world of dating and relationships.  

old couple celebrate romance on patio touching heads with champagne toast

Challenges when Dating as a Senior 

When it comes to dating as a senior, there are several unique challenges you may encounter: 

  1. Logistical Difficulties 

Seniors may face challenges with transportation and finding suitable places to meet new partners. They may also find difficulty in coordinating schedules.  

  1. Technology 

Seniors may find it challenging to navigate dating apps and websites if they are not familiar with technology. This can be a barrier to meeting new people and limit your dating pool significantly. 

  1. Different Life Experiences 

Seniors may have had different life experiences, which can make it harder to connect with potential partners who have different perspectives and priorities. This can manifest if dating someone with children if you do not have any. Or maybe you’re dating someone who has been married before, but you’ve never been married before. All these things can have a significant impact on a relationship.  

  1. Concerns with Appearance 

Seniors may feel self-conscious about their appearance as they experience physical changes that come with aging. This can impact confidence and willingness to date.  

  1. Health Difficulties 

Seniors may face issues like chronic illnesses or mobility limitations that can impact their comfort in social situations and engagement in intimacy. 

  1. Disapproval from Adult Children 

Adult children may have mixed feelings about their older parents dating after a divorce, but especially after the loss of a spouse. It’s important for older parents to communicate with their adult children about their decision to start dating again and be sensitive to their feelings. Adult children should try to be supportive of their parent’s happiness and realize the only person who can determine if they are ready to date is the person themselves.  

Happy cheerful middle-aged mature couple dancing together in the kitchen, preparing cooking food meal for romantic dinner, spending time together.

Tips for Senior Dating 

When entering the world of dating, there are certain mindsets or strategies you can adopt to enhance your experience and set yourself up for success: 

  1. Keep an open mind 

Embrace new experiences and be open to meeting people who may not fit your usual “type.” You may surprise yourself with a new connection.  

  1. Honesty 

Be honest and upfront. Communicate your intentions and expectations clearly to avoid misunderstandings and confirm compatibility. 

  1. Online Dating 

Explore reputable dating platforms, which can be tailored to seniors or not, and expand your dating pool. Be sure to take necessary precautions and prioritize your own safety and privacy.  

  1. Fake It Until You Make It 

Focus on your positive qualities and be proud of who you are. Approach dating with confidence, but if you’re finding it difficult you can just pretend to be confident until you truly feel it after more experience in dating. 

Misconceptions about Senior Sexuality & Intimacy 

There are several common misconceptions about sex and intimacy among older adults, mostly due to lack of discussion and research, Let’s debunk a couple: 

  1. Seniors are not interested in sex or intimacy 

This myth has only persisted because sexual health among seniors is rarely discussed and studied. However, many older adults are sexually active and interested in intimacy. 

  1. Aging bodies are not attractive 

Many older adults may feel self-conscious about their bodies and worry they may not be attractive to their partners. However, sex is not only about physical attraction, and older adults can still be desirable to their partners.  

  1. Safe sex practices are unnecessary 

Some seniors believe they do not need safe sex practices. They assume they do not need to use protection because they are not at risk for pregnancy or contracting sexually transmitted infections (STIs). However, STI rates are increasing among all age groups, including older adults. Older adults have reported few opportunities to discuss their sexual health with their health care providers, which also limits their access to educational resources and interventions to reduce their STI risk2. It is important for seniors to use protection and get tested regularly for STIs.  

  1. Sex is dangerous for older people’s health 

Some people may assume that older adults cannot have satisfying sex due to physical changes, certain health conditions, or other factors. However, sexual activity has health-improving qualities that can be enjoyed safely by an older adult.  

Tips for Safe and Healthy Sex as a Senior 

  1. Maintain a healthy lifestyle: Engage in regular physical activity, eat a balanced diet, manage stress, and prioritize overall well-being. All these things have a direct impact on your sexual health. 
  1. Be open and honest with partners: Communicate openly about sexual health and history to establish trust and address any health concerns. Don’t be afraid to talk about any concerns or past experiences. This helps establish trust and makes sure everyone is on the same page regarding boundaries and desires. This will help make the experience enjoyable for everyone involved. 
  1. Use protection: Employ protection, such as condoms, and get tested regularly for sexually transmitted infections (STIs). You can consult with your healthcare provider for advice on safe sexual practices and STI prevention.  
  1. Manage expectations: Be realistic about what is comfortable and enjoyable for you at this stage of life. Communicate with your partner about what feels comfortable and enjoyable for both of you. Focus on intimacy and emotional connection and pleasure rather than just performance or specific outcomes.  

Additional Resources 

Online Dating Websites 

Compilation of dating websites and apps popular among seniors 

Dating Resources 

Sex Education Resources 

Conclusion 

Seniors can and do have active and fulfilling dating and sexual lives. By recognizing and addressing the challenges they may face, seniors can embark on meaningful relationships and enjoy a satisfying and healthy sex life. Age should never be a barrier to finding companionship and love. Embrace the possibilities and live life to the fullest, regardless of age. 

For more information, check out our Blog section.

References 

  1. Khan J, Greaves E, Tanton C, et al. Sexual behaviours and sexual health among middle-aged and older adults in Britain Sexually Transmitted Infections 2023;99:173-179. 
  1. Smith ML, Bergeron CD, Goltz HH, Coffey T, Boolani A. Sexually Transmitted Infection Knowledge among Older Adults: Psychometrics and Test-Retest Reliability. Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2020 Apr 3;17(7):2462. doi: 10.3390/ijerph17072462. PMID: 32260298; PMCID: PMC7177870. 

One Comment

  1. I am maybe years old and lost my significant other 3 years ago. My primary doctor has been talking to me about starting to date. I am working my way into it.

    Reply

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